January 30, 2013

Times Such As These

There have been some hard days recently at this house.  Days that just sort of drag on from one time out to time out, one nursing to the next nursing.  I love that I have written often about "loving" the stage Abigail is at because right now I am not loving all of the stage we are in.  She is a wonderful little girl, please don't get me wrong, but the days are just a little harder.  As fate would have it, Ethan has also reached, and seems to have plateaued, at a sage that is trying as well.
Yesterday Abigail and I spent a half hour coloring in a big box that is her new fort.  The day before Ethan and I spent the hour and half of Abigail's nap cuddling and laughing together.  As I tuck these kids in at night I pull those thoughts and memories close.  Is it the stages that they are at that makes it so hard or is it the stage I am at?  I often wonder that.  I wonder all day where the blame is to these hard days and then I realize that they are what they are.  These are the days I need to have a little more patience and a little more understanding.  I need to love these kids harder even when the days seem long.  Trust me when I tell you that I know the years will be short.  I tell myself this everyday.  I remind myself that I will want these days back, someday that is.  Just wish it was a little bit easier.


Beth said...

Oh, Kathleen, I can so relate to this. I always joke that when things are going well, I want to pat myself on the back and say, "My parenting skills are so fabulous! Look at how well-behaved my children are." And then, a day (or an hour!) later, I am thinking, "Where have I gone wrong? Is this a stage, or am I just really screwing up here?" I think you have nailed it - it is a transitional stage for both sides: as moms we have to get used to the new challenges of our kids' ages and stages, while at the same time, they're getting used to it, too.

Keep up the good fight. You are an inspiration! I admire your patience and your ability to get perspective. I'll be praying for your mama heart. I, too, am so aware of how fleeting these days, months, and years are - and I don't want to rush them, not really - but I do get weary of the same behaviors and wish THEM away, fast.

Big hugs to you. I wish I could meet your beautiful family!


heath said...

Reading this post makes me so much appreciate your honesty...

I love that you don't sugar coat it all--you write about the beautiful and the hard. Our kids are WHO THEY ARE...They all have personalities unique to themselves and so do we (unfortunately they can be conflicting at times huh?). Carrie H gave me perspective on Sunday talking about loving our kids the way they are...for who their personality is....

Parenting I'm learning is a constant challenge and you are blessed to have people like Beth that can give you such wonderful perspective.....I like her comments!

You are a GREAT momma...E and A are so very lucky!

heather said...

wait--did i say how much i loved the pic!!! hehe!!!! it's a keeper and they will love this one when they are older :)